How to communicate what you really want

Sometimes its hard to explain what you want out of your hair appointment. With all the different lingo and techniques out there, it can be hard to know what to say. In this post I’ll go over some tips and ways of communicating with your stylist so you can get the hair you want and hopefully avoid that consultation stress.

first things first,

Don’t freak out! You don’t need to know how to tell the person doing your hair what highlight placement they need to use or what level you want your color to be. That is not your job. I repeat, that is not your job! Chances are, you did not go to school and take a test to get a license to do hair, we did that. So it’s our job to figure out the best way to get you where you want to be.

With that said, sometimes we do ask questions that you don’t understand or just simply don’t know the answer too, and that’s totally fine! Just simply say you don’t understand or just don’t know. We usually have a backup question or a way of rewording things. We talk to all sorts of people, and everyone has different ways of thinking about hair. Please don’t think you can’t get what you want simply because it takes awhile to get on the same page, sometimes it just takes a little longer to talk it out.

Pictures

Sometimes I have people come in and apologize for showing me pictures. Or I ask if they have any pictures of hair they like, to their total amazement. I can not tell you how many times I’ve heard “I thought stylist hated when people bring in pictures!” I have no idea where this way of thinking came from and I wish it would disappear forever. We love pictures! Visuals make communicating so much easier. It takes away a lot of the issues that come along with relying solely on the words we’re using. When you can point out what you love in a picture, you are much more likely to get it.

However, understand that you are not the person in the picture. That picture has also most likely been edited and if its a celebrity, you can bet money that they have extensions in. There are also so many different things that effect the final outcome. The color of your hair, the texture and density, your hair history, and your styling habits all play into what your hair will look like in the end. So pictures are great, but realistic expectations are a must.

When you do look at pictures, its best to find at least a few. Find examples of the look you’re going for, then find that thing that you really like about it. For example: the money piece (the brighter color around the face thats really popular right now). A money piece can be more bold or more blended, thicker or thinner, solid or dimensional. The possibilities go on forever. Showing multiple examples of what you want your hair to look like, and even some examples of what you absolutely do not want it to look like, are very helpful.

what is the most important?

Sometimes we have that one thing we’re really after. Maybe you’ve been dreaming about a dramatic red color, or you miss that perfect bob you had two years ago. Ideally, you would get everything you want from your hair appointment, but sometimes that just doesn’t happen. If you have one thing you are really focused on, we want to know. Sometimes it might take more time to get what you want. If we’re working through old color or if you have a lot of hair, it can take extra time and care. We want you to leave happy, so if we know what to focus on, the chances of that happening are much better!

Be honest about your expectations

Are you going to blow your hair out and style it on a regular basis? Or do you need something that you can wash in the morning and air dry while you get your kids ready for school? You will not be happy with something that takes more work than you can put into it. If it never looks how you want it to look, whats the point?

Same goes for maintenance. If you don’t have the time or the budget to keep up the look you’re wanting, I would suggest something a little different. It’s not that you shouldn’t get that pixie cut you’ve been looking at for months. It’s just that I don’t want you to hate your hair after four weeks because the back is already too long and you we’re just in the salon. Monthly appointments aren’t for everyone, and that is ok!

Money also plays a big part in how you wear your hair. Times are tough, I know! Don’t be afraid to talk with your stylist about your budget. There are a lot of options these days to keep your hair looking good without breaking the bank. It’s no longer necessary to get a full highlight every 6-8 weeks. With toners and root smudges (also known as melts, root taps, and a million other terms) we have options.

realistic expectations

Another thing about expectations, they should be realistic. Like I mentioned earlier, most pictures on the internet are not 100% “real”. They have filters, added hair, and sometimes a professional stylist on stand by. A lot of the blondes you see photographed don’t actually look like that in real life. Lighting plays a huge part in how hair color looks.

Sometimes what you want just can’t be achieved in one appointment. Sometimes what you want just isn’t possible for your hair at all. I promise you, I have never turned someone down because I just didn’t want to do their hair. That is hardly ever the case. If you get told no, there is probably a good reason, and your stylist should have no problem telling you what it is. I would rather someone be disappointed that they can’t get what they want, over them being disappointed that their hair is melting off…

We want you to be happy. But saying we can do something that just isn’t possible, is not going to make that happen.

But what if you hate it?

This is a big one. What if you go through this whole thing and its just not what you wanted? This can happen for so many different reasons. Maybe you went for a big change and you just don’t love it like you thought you would. Or maybe there is just one little thing that keeps it from being perfect. Or maybe its just so far off from what you talked about with your stylist that you don’t even know how you ended up with the hair you did. Whatever the reason, it can always be fixed.

If you find yourself in this position, that is ok. Reach out to your stylist* via their preferred method of communication, you can usually figure out what that is by looking at their social media or booking site. I personally have my email listed and I don’t mind direct messages on social media, but that’s just me, we all have our preferences.

** Please be respectful when communicating with your stylist! We can’t always respond immediately and being spicy won’t get you a better result!

Communicate as clearly as you can what the problem is, you can even send pictures pointing out any problem areas. Work with your stylist to figure out what can and should be done moving forward. It often does take more than one appointment to get where you want to go, especially if you are seeing someone new. The relationship between a client and stylist is just like any other, the more you get to know each other the better you get at communicating!

I hope you feel a bit more confident going to your next appointment! If I missed anything or you have another topic you’d like to know more about, leave a comment or email me at: morgan@themanemorgan.com 🖤